During the revision process, which type of wording should a writer delete in a narrative essay?

Learning Objectives

Identify major locations of problem in the draft essay in the time of revising and also editing and enhancing. Use peer reviews and also modifying checklists to help revising and editing and enhancing. Revise and also edit the first draft of your essay and also develop a last draft.

Revising and also editing are the 2 jobs you undertake to significantly enhance your essay. Both are very crucial facets of the writing process. You might think that a completed first draft suggests little bit improvement is required. However, even competent authors have to improve their drafts and rely on peers during revising and also modifying. You may understand that athletes miss out on catches, fumble balls, or overshoot goals. Dancers foracquire procedures, rotate also slowly, or miss out on beats. For both athletes and also dancers, the even more they practice, the stronger their performance will certainly end up being. Internet developers look for better imperiods, a much more clever before design, or a much more appealing background for their internet pperiods. Writing has actually the same capacity to profit from advancement and revision.

You watching: During the revision process, which type of wording should a writer delete in a narrative essay?


Understanding the Purpose of Revising and also Editing

Revising and also modifying enable you to study 2 necessary aspects of your composing independently, so that you can give each task your unsplit attention.


Tip

How perform you gain the best out of your revisions and also editing? Here are some tactics that writers have occurred to look at their initially drafts from a fresh perspective. Try them over the course of this semester; then store making use of the ones that carry results.

Take a break. You are proud of what you composed, but you can be as well close to it to make changes. Set aside your writing for a couple of hours or even a day till you deserve to look at it objectively. Ask someone you trust for feedback and constructive criticism. Pretend you are among your readers. Are you satisfied or dissatisfied? Why? Use the resources that your college offers. Find out wbelow your school’s writing lab is located and ask around the assistance they provide virtual and also in perboy.

Many civilization hear the words critic, critical, and criticism and pick up just negative vibes that provoke feelings that make them blush, grumble, or shout. However, as a writer and a thinker, you should learn to be instrumental of yourself in a positive method and also have actually high expectations for your occupational. You also must train your eye and trust your capability to solve what demands resolving. For this, you need to teach yourself where to look.


Creating Unity and Coherence

Following your outline closely provides you a reasonable guarantee that your creating will stay on function and also not drift amethod from the managing concept. However, when authors are rushed, are worn down, or cannot discover the best words, their composing might end up being less than they want it to be. Their creating might no longer be clear and also concise, and also they may be adding information that is not essential to develop the primary principle.

When a piece of composing has unityA top quality in which all the principles in a paragraph and also in the entire essay clearly belengthy and also are arranged in an order that renders logical sense., all the concepts in each paragraph and also in the whole essay clearly belong and are arranged in an order that provides logical sense. When the creating has actually coherenceA top quality in which the wording of an occupational plainly shows just how one idea leads to an additional within a paragraph and from paragraph to paragraph., the concepts circulation smoothly. The wording plainly indicates how one principle leads to an additional within a paragraph and also from paragraph to paragraph.


Tip

Reading your writing aloud will certainly often assist you discover difficulties through unity and coherence. Listen for the clarity and flow of your concepts. Identify places wbelow you find yourself confused, and write a note to yourself about possible fixes.


Creating Unity

Sometimes writers get captured up in the minute and also cannot resist an excellent digression. Even though you might reap such detours once you chat with friends, unplanned digressions normally damage a item of composing.

Mariah stayed close to her outline as soon as she drafted the 3 body paragraphs of her essay she tentatively titled “Digital Technology: The Newest and the Best at What Price?” But a current shopping trip for an HDTV upcollection her enough that she digressed from the main topic of her third paragraph and consisted of comments around the sales staff at the electronics store she visited. When she revised her essay, she deleted the off-topic sentences that impacted the unity of the paragraph.

Read the complying with paragraph twice, the first time without Mariah’s transforms, and also the second time through them.


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Exercise 1

Answer the following two inquiries around Mariah’s paragraph:

Do you agree via Mariah’s decision to make the deletions she made? Did she cut also a lot, also bit, or just enough? Exordinary. Is the explanation of what display resolution indicates a digression? Or is it audience friendly and also crucial to understanding the paragraph? Exsimple.

Collaboration

Please share with a classmate and also compare your answers.


Tip

When you reread your creating to uncover revisions to make, look for each form of problem in a sepaprice sweep. Read it straight with as soon as to locate any kind of problems with unity. Read it right with a second time to uncover difficulties through coherence. You may follow this very same practice throughout many kind of steras of the composing procedure.


Writing at Work

Many type of service providers hire copyeditors and also proofreaders to help them produce the cleacolony feasible last drafts of huge composing jobs. Copyeditors are responsible for suggesting revisions and style changes; proofreaders inspect papers for any type of errors in capitalization, spelling, and also punctuation that have crept in. Many type of times, these work are done on a freelance basis, via one freelancer functioning for a range of clients.


Creating Coherence

Careful writers use transitionsWords and also phrases that display exactly how the principles in sentences and paragraphs are related. to clarify just how the principles in their sentences and paragraphs are associated. These words and also phrases assist the composing flow smoothly. Adding transitions is not the only way to enhance coherence, but they are regularly beneficial and also give a mature feel to your esstates. Table 8.3 "Common Transitional Words and Phrases" teams many kind of common transitions according to their objective.


Table 8.3 Typical Transitional Words and Phrases

Transitions That Show Sequence or Time
after before later
afterward before long meanwhile
as shortly as finally next
at first initially, second, third soon
at last in the initially place then
Transitions That Sjust how Position
above across at the bottom
at the top behind below
beside beyond inside
near next to opposite
to the left, to the best, to the side under where
Transitions That Sjust how a Conclusion
indeed hence in conclusion
in the final analysis therefore thus
Transitions That Continue a Line of Thought
consequently furthermore additionally
because besides the fact adhering to this concept further
in addition in the very same way moreover
looking further considering…, it is clear that
Transitions That Change a Line of Thought
but yet however
nevertheless on the contrary on the various other hand
Transitions That Sjust how Importance
above all best especially
in fact even more important many important
most worst
Transitions That Introduce the Final Thoughts in a Paragraph or Essay
finally last in conclusion
a lot of of all leastern of all last of all
All-Purpose Transitions to Open Paragraphs or to Connect Ideas Inside Paragraphs
admittedly at this point certainly
granted it is true mostly speaking
in general in this situation no doubt
no one denies obviously of course
to be sure undoubtedly unquestionably
Transitions that Introduce Examples
for instance for example
Transitions That Clarify the Order of Events or Steps
first, second, third mostly, furthermore, finally in the first location, likewise, last
in the initially location, furthereven more, finally in the first location, likewise, lastly

After Maria revised for unity, she following examined her paragraph around televisions to check for coherence. She looked for places where she required to add a shift or perhaps reword the text to make the circulation of ideas clear. In the version that follows, she has actually already deleted the sentences that were off topic.


Tip

Many writers make their revisions on a printed copy and also then move them to the variation on-display. They traditionally usage a little arrowhead called a caret (^) to present where to insert an addition or correction.


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Exercise 2

Answer the adhering to concerns around Mariah’s revised paragraph.

Do you agree with the transitions and also other alters that Mariah made to her paragraph? Which would you store and also which were unnecessary? Explain. What shift words or phrases did Mariah include to her paragraph? Why did she pick each one? What result does adding extra sentences have actually on the coherence of the paragraph? Exsimple. When you review both versions aloud, which version has actually a much more logical flow of ideas? Explain.

Being Clear and Concise

Some writers are incredibly organized and painstaking when they create a very first draft. Other authors unleash many words in order to obtain out all that they feel they should say. Do either of these writing layouts enhance your style? Or is your composing style somewright here in between? No issue which summary best fits you, the initially draft of practically every item of creating, no matter its author, have the right to be made clearer and even more concise.

If you have a tendency to create also much, you will certainly must look for unnecessary words. If you have actually a propensity to be vague or imspecific in your wording, you will certainly must find certain words to replace any type of overly basic language.


Identifying Wordiness

Sometimes writers usage also many kind of words when fewer words will appeal even more to their audience and much better fit their objective. Here are some widespread examples of wordiness to look for in your draft. Eliminating wordiness helps all readers, because it makes your ideas clear, straight, and straightforward.

Sentences that begin with Tright here is or Tbelow are.

Wordy: There are two significant experiments that the Biology Department sponsors.

Revised: The Biology Department sponsors two significant experiments.

Sentences through unvital modifiers.

Wordy: Two exceptionally renowned and famous customer advocates spoke eloquently in favor of the proposed vital regulation.

Revised: Two famous consumer proponents spoke in favor of the proposed regulation.

Sentences through deadtimber phrases that add little bit to the definition. Be sensible once you use phrases such as in terms of, with a mind to, on the subject of, as to whether or not, more or less, as far as…is concerned, and comparable expressions. You can generally uncover an extra straightforward way to state your suggest.

Wordy: As a world leader in the field of green technology, the firm plans to emphasis its efforts in the location of geothermal energy.

A report as to whether or not to usage geysers as an energy source is in the process of preparation.

Revised: As a people leader in green innovation, the company plans to emphasis on geothermal power.

A report around making use of geysers as an power source is in preparation.

Sentences in the passive voice or with creates of the verb to be. Sentences through passive-voice verbs often create confusion, bereason the subject of the sentence does not percreate an activity. Sentences are clearer as soon as the topic of the sentence perdevelops the action and is complied with by a strong verb. Use solid active-voice verbs in place of forms of to be, which deserve to bring about wordiness. Avoid passive voice as soon as you can.

Wordy: It could probably be sassist that using a GENERAL PRACTITIONERS device is something that is a advantage to chauffeurs who have actually a bad sense of direction.

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Revised: Using a GPS tool benefits motorists who have a poor sense of direction.

Sentences via constructions that deserve to be shortened.

Wordy: The e-book reader, which is a current innovation, may end up being as commonlocation as the cell phone.

My over-sixty uncle bought an e-book reader, and also his wife bought an e-book reader, too.

Revised: The e-book reader, a current creation, may become as commonplace as the cell phone.

My over-sixty uncle and also his wife both bought e-book readers.


Exercise 3

Now rerotate once even more to the first draft of the essay you have been revising. Check it for unimportant words. Try making your sentences as concise as they have the right to be.


Choosing Specific, Ideal Words

Most college esstates need to be written in formal English suitable for an academic case. Follow these values to be sure that your word choice is proper. For more information about word alternative, see Chapter 4 "Working through Words: Which Word Is Right?".

Avoid slang. Find options to bummer, kewl, and rad. Avoid language that is overly casual. Write about “men and also women” fairly than “girls and also guys” unmuch less you are trying to produce a particular impact. A formal tone calls for formal language. Avoid contractions. Use execute not in location of don’t, I am in area of I’m, have not in area of haven’t, and so on. Contractions are considered casual speech. Avoid clichés. Overprovided expressions such as green through envy, confront the music, better late than never, and also similar expressions are empty of meaning and also may not appeal to your audience. Be mindful when you use words that sound aprefer but have various meanings. Some examples are allusion/illusion, complement/compliment, council/counsel, concurrent/consecutive, founder/flounder, and historic/historical. When in doubt, examine a dictionary. Choose words via the connotations you want. Choosing a word for its connotations is as important in formal essay composing as it is in all kinds of creating. Compare the positive connotations of the word proud and also the negative connotations of arrogant and also conceited. Use specific words rather than overly general words. Find synonyms for thing, people, nice, good, bad, interesting, and other vague words. Or usage certain details to make your precise meaning clear.

Now review the revisions Mariah made to make her third paragraph clearer and more concise. She has already included the transforms she made to boost unity and also coherence.


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Exercise 4

Answer the adhering to inquiries around Mariah’s revised paragraph:

Read the unrevised and also the revised paragraphs aloud. Exsimple in your own words exactly how alters in word alternative have actually affected Mariah’s creating. Do you agree with the alters that Mariah made to her paragraph? Which alters would certainly you store and which were unnecessary? Exordinary. What various other changes would certainly you have made? What effect does rerelocating contractions and the pronoun you have on the tamong the paragraph? How would certainly you characterize the tone now? Why? Now return as soon as even more to your essay in progress. Read carefully for difficulties with word alternative. Be certain that your draft is composed in formal language and that your word option is certain and also appropriate.

Completing a Peer Review

After working so carefully via a piece of writing, writers often need to step earlier and ask for an extra objective reader. What writers many need is feedback from readers who deserve to respond only to the words on the web page. When they are prepared, authors show their drafts to someone they respect and who have the right to offer an hocolony response around its strengths and also weaknesses.

You, as well, deserve to ask a peer to read your draft as soon as it is ready. After evaluating the feedago and assessing what is the majority of helpful, the reader’s feedback will certainly assist you when you revise your draft. This procedure is referred to as peer reviewThe procedure in which a writer allows a peer to review and also evaluate a draft..

You have the right to occupational through a partner in your class and determine particular means to strengthen each other’s esstates. Although you might be uncomfortable sharing your composing at first, remember that each writer is working towards the same goal: a last draft that fits the audience and the function. Maintaining a positive perspective as soon as giving feedearlier will certainly put you and your companion at ease. The box that adheres to offers a helpful structure for the peer review session.


Questions for Peer Review

Title of essay: ____________________________________________

Date: ____________________________________________

Writer’s name: ____________________________________________

Peer reviewer’s name: _________________________________________

This essay is about____________________________________________. Your primary points in this essay are____________________________________________. What I a lot of chosen about this essay is____________________________________________.

These 3 points struck me as your strongest:

Point: ____________________________________________

Why: ____________________________________________

Point: ____________________________________________

Why: ____________________________________________

Point: ____________________________________________

Why: ____________________________________________

These places in your essay are not clear to me:

Where: ____________________________________________

Needs improvement because__________________________________________

Where: ____________________________________________

Needs development because ____________________________________________

Where: ____________________________________________

Needs improvement bereason ____________________________________________

The one added readjust you could make that would certainly enhance this essay considerably is ____________________________________________.

Writing at Work

One of the reasons why word-handling programs develop in a reviewing attribute is that workgroups have come to be a prevalent function in many businesses. Writing is frequently collaborative, and also the members of a workgroup and also their supervisors regularly critique team members’ work and market feedearlier that will certainly bring about a far better final product.


Exercise 5

Exadjust essays through a classmate and also complete a peer review of each other’s draft in development. Remember to offer positive feedago and to be courteous and also polite in your responses. Focus on providing one positive comment and also one question for even more information to the writer.


Using Feedback Objectively

The purpose of peer feedback is to obtain constructive criticism of your essay. Your peer reviewer is your first real audience, and also you have the chance to learn what confuses and also delights a reader so that you can enhance your job-related prior to sharing the last draft through a broader audience (or your intended audience).

It may not be essential to incorpoprice eextremely referral your peer reviewer provides. However, if you start to observe a pattern in the responses you receive from peer reviewers, you could want to take that feedback right into consideration in future assignments. For example, if you check out continual comments around a need for more study, then you might desire to take into consideration consisting of even more study in future assignments.


Using Feedback from Multiple Sources

You might gain feedago from even more than one reader as you share different stperiods of your revised draft. In this situation, you may receive feedearlier from readers who do not understand also the assignment or who absence your involvement via and also enthusiasm for it.

You should evaluate the responses you obtain according to 2 necessary criteria:

Determine if the feedback supports the function of the assignment. Determine if the suggested revisions are proper to the audience.

Then, utilizing these requirements, accept or reject revision feedago.


Exercise 6

Work through two partners. Go earlier to Keep in mind 8.81 "Exercise 4" in this leskid and compare your responses to Activity A, around Mariah’s paragraph, through your partners’. Recontact Mariah’s function for writing and her audience. Then, working individually, list where you agree and also wright here you disagree about revision needs.


Editing Your Draft

If you have been incorporating each set of revisions as Mariah has, you have developed multiple drafts of your writing. So much, all your alters have been content alters. Perhaps with the help of peer feedearlier, you have actually made certain that you sufficiently supported your ideas. You have checked for difficulties through unity and coherence. You have examined your essay for word option, revising to cut unvital words and also to relocation weak wording via certain and appropriate wording.

The following step after revising the content is modifying. When you edit, you study the surface attributes of your text. You study your spelling, grammar, usage, and also punctuation. You additionally make certain you use the proper format as soon as creating your finiburned assignment.


Tip

Editing frequently takes time. Budgeting time right into the creating procedure enables you to complete added edits after revising. Editing and also proofanalysis your composing helps you develop a finiburned occupational that represents your finest efforts. Here are a few even more tips to remember around your readers:

Readers carry out not notice correct spelling, however they do notice misspellings. Readers look previous your sentences to obtain to your ideas—unmuch less the sentences are awkward, poorly created, and frustrating to review. Readers notification when eextremely sentence has the very same rhythm as every various other sentence, via no variety. Readers perform not cheer once you usage there, their, and they’re effectively, but they notice as soon as you execute not. Readers will notification the treatment via which you taken on your assignment and also your attention to information in the delivery of an error-cost-free record..

The initially section of this book offers a useful evaluation of grammar, mechanics, and intake. Use it to aid you remove significant errors in your writing and also refine your expertise of the conventions of language. Do not hesitate to ask for help, also, from peer tutors in your scholastic department or in the college’s writing lab. In the meantime, usage the checklist to help you edit your writing.


Checklist

Editing Your Writing

Grammar

Are some sentences actually sentence fragments? Are some sentences run-on sentences? How can I correct them? Do some sentences need conjunctions between independent clauses? Does eexceptionally verb agree via its subject? Is eextremely verb in the correct tense? Are tense forms, particularly for ircontinual verbs, created correctly? Have I provided topic, object, and possessive personal pronouns correctly? Have I provided who and whom correctly? Is the antecedent of every pronoun clear? Do all individual pronouns agree with their antecedents? Have I offered the correct comparative and superlative creates of adjectives and adverbs? Is it clear which word a participial expression modifies, or is it a dangling modifier?

Sentence Structure

Are all my sentences straightforward sentences, or carry out I vary my sentence structure? Have I chosen the best coordinating or subordinating conjunctions to join clauses? Have I created long, overpacked sentences that should be shortened for clarity? Do I watch any type of mistakes in parallel structure?

Punctuation

Does eextremely sentence finish through the correct finish punctuation? Can I justify the use of eextremely exclamation point? Have I supplied apostrophes properly to compose all singular and also plural possessive forms? Have I provided quotation marks correctly?

Mechanics and Usage

Can I uncover any type of spelling errors? How can I correct them? Have I offered funding letters wbelow they are needed? Have I created abbreviations, wright here allowed, correctly? Can I uncover any type of errors in the usage of generally puzzled words, such as to/too/two?

Tip

Be mindful about relying too a lot on spelling checkers and also grammar checkers. A spelling checker cannot acknowledge that you expected to write principle yet composed principal instead. A grammar checker regularly queries constructions that are perfectly correct. The regime does not understand also your meaning; it makes its inspect versus a general collection of formulas that could not apply in each instance. If you use a grammar checker, accept the suggestions that make sense, yet think about why the suggestions came up.


Tip

Proofanalysis needs patience; it is incredibly easy to review past a mistake. Set your paper aside for at least a couple of hours, if not a day or more, so your mind will remainder. Some expert proofreaders review a text backward so they have the right to concentrate on spelling and also punctuation. Another beneficial strategy is to gradually review a file aloud, paying attention to eextremely word, letter, and also punctuation note.

If you require extra proofanalysis help, ask a trustworthy frifinish, a classmate, or a peer tutor to make a final pass on your paper to look for anypoint you missed.


Formatting

Remember to use proper format once creating your finimelted assignment. Sometimes an instructor, a department, or a college will require students to follow certain instructions on titles, margins, web page numbers, or the area of the writer’s name. These needs may be more thorough and rigid for research study jobs and also term documents, which regularly observe the Amerihave the right to Psychological Association (APA) or Modern Language Association (MLA) style guides, specifically when citations of sources are included.

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To encertain the format is correct and also follows any type of specific instructions, make a last examine prior to you submit an assignment.


Key Takeaways

Revising and modifying are the steras of the writing process in which you enhance your occupational before producing a final draft. Throughout revising, you add, reduced, move, or adjust indevelopment in order to boost content. Throughout editing, you take a second look at the words and also sentences you provided to expush your ideas and also resolve any kind of difficulties in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. Unity in creating implies that all the ideas in each paragraph and also in the whole essay clearly belong together and are arranged in an order that provides logical feeling. Coherence in creating implies that the writer’s wording clearly suggests how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and also between paragraphs. Transitional words and phrases successfully make writing more systematic. Writing should be clear and concise, with no unvital words. Effective formal composing supplies certain, proper words and also prevents slang, contractions, clichés, and overly general words. Peer reviews, done properly, deserve to offer authors objective feedback around their composing. It is the writer’s responsibility to evaluate the outcomes of peer reviews and also incorpoprice just advantageous feedago. Remember to budobtain time for careful editing and enhancing and proofreading. Use all obtainable resources, including editing checklists, peer modifying, and your institution’s composing lab, to improve your editing and enhancing abilities.